I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
