The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
