im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
