I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize