They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
