I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
