I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
