Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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