they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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