My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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