i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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