What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
