I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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