Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
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I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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