I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I want to be your penis for a week.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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