he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.