Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
We need to rekindle our bromance
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.