even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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