She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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