Plan B is the new Plan A
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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