if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
