Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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