If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
