why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
