Christians are straight up FREAKS
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
