Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
