Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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