this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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