Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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