Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
