So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Randomize