I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
