you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
