Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I don't think brook has ever known best
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
