Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
