brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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