my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i think i just lost a toe
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
