BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
