You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
