Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
