Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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