...so i touched it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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