im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
