So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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