Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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