bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
