Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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