the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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