If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Less talking, more tequila
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
