now i know why i became what i already was.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
