Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
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I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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