I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
