I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
