out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
