Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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