I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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