i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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