Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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