He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
